Hate to do this

Ever know that you should do something but really just don't want to?

It sucks...

Reboot

Well this poor blog really sees no action does it?

To recap the last 7 or 8 months:

Got back from Manila
Started at USC
Made new friends
Grandfather came home
Parents and sister moved out
Started to drive
Dated Comics boy
Broke it off with Comics boy
Went clubbing in LA for the first time
Miss LA Chinatown
New group of friends
Jewish Boy
Losing my keys for 24 hours
First OB-GYN visit (ick)
25 lb turkey
My first dinner party
Frat boy
Potty Mouth
Douche Bag BBQ
Having fun in the rain
Ason's
Science Museum
Up in the Air
Evolution of Psychotherapy
Placentia
Beantown
Late night at Highland Oaks
Jake's
The Lab

Well, That didn't work did it...

So I wasn't so good about the blogging... or the gym. I thought that I would at least keep up with the blog for longer than I did since it doesn't require much physical effort on my part. Surprisingly, I kept up with the gym far longer than I did the blog. I had my money on the gym losing. This is why I don't gamble. Even when I bet against myself, I lose. FAIL. I actually got to the point where I was looking forward to going to the gym in a sort of masochistic way! That all went kaput months ago though.

Now I'm leaving and the whole premise of the blog is moot. "Chinese American girl finding herself in a foreign setting..." Going back to my motherland, the good ol' US of A in less than two weeks!!

Now I have to figure out what to do with this blog now. Hmm... might make it about moving back home to a place I couldn't wait to get out of. Something many undergraduates or even graduates will have to face now that economy is non-existant.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

It may seem a bit early (Okay. SUPER EARLY) to be saying that but Christmas is already in full swing here in the Philippines.

The office is full of decorations. The Christmas trees here are much like everything else here in the Philippines.

Colorful. Bright. Loud.

Christmas trees already, you ask? You must be thinking how can they survive till New Years. Well.. they don't have to. The beauty of living in a tropical country is that there are no real Christmas trees anyways so you can put up your plastic tree as early as you'd like. In recent years, high end stores have started to import trees closer to the holiday, but given this year's worldwide economic downturn who knows if that will happen.

My coworker Anne has invited me to spend Christmas with her and her family ( YAY!!!!! no sitting at home alone Christmas day.) She even had me help pick out decoration for her tree.

While helping her decide between the sparkly silver balls with glitter and the shiny silver beaded velvet balls, I thought back to Christmases past. I realized that for the past four years, we haven't had a Christmas tree, decorations, or anything of the sort. It's pretty surprising thatwe didn't. I'm huge on the superficial things that make a holiday. I ALWAYS make a huge hullabaloo about my birthday, having turkey on Thanksgiving, and a Christmas tree for the holidays. It's part of who I am. I'm amazed I didn't bug anyone to death about not having them.

The SUPER surprising thing is it wasn't that bad. It was even pretty awesome one year. My parents drove from SoCal to join my sister and I in NorCal on Christmas Eve and we had a hearty midnight snack. We all slept in till almost noon on Christmas
Day and exchanged unwrapped christmas gifts before lunch.

This year, I am getting the longest Christmas season ever, decorations galore, and Christmas carols for a full three months (THAT'S 1/4th OF A YEAR!!!) and you'd think it'd make me happy. It does but it's kinda superficial like the shiny silver beaded velvet ball I ended up picking for Anne's tree. I just want my Chinese family that really only does Christmas because I will a pain in the ass if we don't. They don't even have to do the Christmas part this year!

Too bad you can't reset the clock and go back.

In the meantime, I'm going to make the best of it and enjoy humming to Christmas jingles in a language I don't understand in 90 degree weather.

The Gym

I've always had an aversion to the gym and exercise. I've only once agreed to the numerous invitation to join a friend at the gym. (Not counting the one time I agreed because I wanted to soak in the pool.)

My typical thoughts that have to do with the gym include: "What if I use a machine incorrectly and embarrass myself?" "Are my stomach rolls showing?" "I smell like a moldy fridge crossed with an onion." "What if I run out of breath after running 3 minutes and the cute guy on the next machine thinks I'm pathetic?" "The girl in the sports bra over there has great boobs. I hate my boobs. I don't got any." "Ouch! Leg Cramp!"

I don't like the gym for all those reasons and oh so many more. I like telling people that the gym is an evil place. The gym is a result of our male centric superficial society and I refuse to take part in it, I indignantly say.

But secretly,I'm a gym fanatic. Getting up early to go workout or hitting the gym after work is the stuff of dreams to me. Literally. The stuff of dreams. I am so excited about the gym that I dream about it. Many a night I have dreams that I'm running on a treadmill or pumping iron. In reality, I don't actually go to the gym. The number of times I've been to the gym in my ENTIRE LIFE can be counted on my two hands. Thinking about going is enough for me.

That is until I met a real gym fanatic. She was the fellow who proceeded me at my post here in Manila. In the week that I stayed with her, she would get up every morning at 7 to "have a quick jog" in the basement before heading to work. It made her feel refreshed she said.

I hated it. As long as I didn't know a real gym fanatic, I felt like "well it's the thought that counts" was enough. Now, that I knew a real gym fanatic I felt the petty jealousy welling up inside. I wanted to be a gym fanatic. She was the real McCoy. I hated her because I wanted to be her.

After she left, I returned to my "oooo yeah! I just had a great run on the treadmill this morning IN MY MIND. "


Until today that is. I, for some unknown reason, decided to go to the gym and run. I did misuse some equipment. I ran out of breathe in 2 minutes on the treadmill. I ended up smelling like moldy fridge and onion.


...And I'm going back for more tomorrow... or maybe Wednesday.

I'm determined to go to the gym at least 3 times a week just like I'm determined to make this blog happen.

Let's see which one fails first.

Witty title involving irony and reset buttons

Welcome to There Is No Reset Button!

I'm a Chinese American female here in Manila for a year on a fellowship. I've been here in Manila for 4 months and 21 days. I desperately wish I could start over and begin anew, but I can't.

I already have a blog that no one reads and sees sporatic updates (I'm fairly sure that this blog will be doomed to the same fate), but gosh darn it if I can't start this fellowship gig over then I'm at least starting something over!

In a few months time I'll probably just delete this blog and start all over again., HOWEVER, I'd like to avoid that.

For once in my, life I'd like to try my best and hardest. I never try my hardest because then when I fail, I don't feel so bad. Hopefully, that stops tonight. I AM GOING TO TRY MY BEST TO GET A READERSHIP AND FOLLOWING FOR THIS BLOG!!! Even if I fail, I'll finally know what it is like to really try and fail, instead of kinda trying and failing.

So even if this is the only time you're ever going to read this blog. Please comment and LIE TO ME. Say you're going to read it. Say that it's interesting and worth doing even if you think it isn't. Consider it your good deed of the day.

If you're looking to really get karma points, email someone the URL of There Is No Reset Button and help them make fullfilling their good deed of the day quota that much easier.

See this is the trying really hard bit. Shameless self promotion.

So get to it. Those karma points won't collect themselves!